last night, the drive-by truckers played this song and it was pretty appropriate. not exactly sad, but realistic.
then we witnessed a giant singalong to “rosalita” in the turkey’s nest.
today i will do some 2010 reflection and probably eat more cheese. then i will ring in the new year with my love.
so much has changed. i feel very young and very old at the same time.
it’s bad when you forget the password to your own blog, mm? i write for other people a lot, so it’s like, i’m writing… but i always have an objective in mind. a final destination. sort of like college, but more fun and lucrative.
i remember that desperate 4am feeling, when i had a paper due at 10AM and it just felt like the worst, cruelest task that had ever existed was said paper staring me in the face. i’m glad i did it (it = college), but i’d never go back. i can say never right now because no one’s going to hold me to it. landing a job out of college is the luckiest thing i’ve ever had happen to me. i imagine a chasm cracking open and separating my class and ’08 from the suny new paltz graduates of ’09, sort of like wile e. coyote being flung away from roadrunner at the last second. sick cartoon shit. one side has jobs. the other side is still searching.
still, our rent went up. my girlfriend has a problem in her apartment in maine that will cost a lot of money to fix. if someone could give us $1000 so she can move here and i can stop being sad when i can’t see her face or reactions over the phone, that would be excellent. i should start a paypal. “donate to ashley and heidi’s lovecause. sry no lesbian pix.”
today is bruce springsteen’s birthday. i love him. i love knowing that he is the good cop.
also i remember when i didn’t like bruce until tom doran made me listen to greetings from asbury park, nj in college and then i realized that everything deserves a chance, even if he was what my oft-maligned uncle loved most and made me feel strange. things can always be given a new meaning, your meaning.
here’s brucey at max’s kansas city in 1972 singing “growin’ up” by himself.