used to fly, now i float

cloudy head

it’s bad when you forget the password to your own blog, mm? i write for other people a lot, so it’s like, i’m writing… but i always have an objective in mind. a final destination. sort of like college, but more fun and lucrative.

i remember that desperate 4am feeling, when i had a paper due at 10AM and it just felt like the worst, cruelest task that had ever existed was said paper staring me in the face. i’m glad i did it (it = college), but i’d never go back. i can say never right now because no one’s going to hold me to it. landing a job out of college is the luckiest thing i’ve ever had happen to me. i imagine a chasm cracking open and separating my class and ’08 from the suny new paltz graduates of ’09, sort of like wile e. coyote being flung away from roadrunner at the last second. sick cartoon shit. one side has jobs. the other side is still searching.

still, our rent went up. my girlfriend has a problem in her apartment in maine that will cost a lot of money to fix. if someone could give us $1000 so she can move here and i can stop being sad when i can’t see her face or reactions over the phone, that would be excellent. i should start a paypal. “donate to ashley and heidi’s lovecause. sry no lesbian pix.”

today is bruce springsteen’s birthday. i love him. i love knowing that he is the good cop.

also i remember when i didn’t like bruce until tom doran made me listen to greetings from asbury park, nj in college and then i realized that everything deserves a chance, even if he was what my oft-maligned uncle loved most and made me feel strange. things can always be given a new meaning, your meaning.

here’s brucey at max’s kansas city in 1972 singing “growin’ up” by himself.

Advertisements

One response

  1. Erica

    Beautifully put. You should def start the “donate to ashley and heidi’s lovecause. sry no lesbian pix.” paypal.

    September 25, 2010 at 4:20 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s